My Second Trimester Recap
Mocktails, Christmas Eve, and a 10k race.
I always knew that my time to start a family would be in my late twenties; I had far too much ambition to finish a bucket list of cool things before I “subjected” myself to 9 months of sobriety and a lifetime of selflessness.
In my early 20s, I was selfish in the best way possible. I'd awake early with an intense focus on my needs only: schoolwork, a clean bedroom, and a savings account made strictly for travel funds. I've traveled to over 28 countries in my relatively short lifetime thus far, some for pleasure and some for work. Many nights were spent at the club with girlfriends in tight leather vests, with the same number of weekends on outdoor hiking trails with fellow dirtbag friends in college. I've drunk wine in Italy, danced in Greece, photographed wildlife in Zambia, trekked across the Indian Himalayas, fell in love at 16, got two college degrees, and finally learned how to cook meat.
The list goes on.
I've done a lot of cool sh*t in my life that I'm so insanely proud of. Admittedly, I knew that I wouldn't have otherwise been able to do these things had I chosen to have children any younger than now. I'm extraordinarily proud of myself for sticking to a plan and holding my ground, no matter how easily influenced by others I can be.
And because I've been so non-stop my entire life, pregnancy has seemingly been no different. Other than the obvious fact I cannot drink or sleep on my stomach like I usually do, I often forget I'm holding a child in my uterus throughout the day. Then I feel her tender kicks in the ribs and am suddenly swollen with emotion — I'm growing a beating heart and bones and eyes and a brain. All on my own. Without added intervention.
Pregnancy is a f*cking miracle.
My Second Trimester
While every pregnancy differs, many mothers admire the second trimester the most (generally between 14 - 27 weeks of gestation). You're not too big, but not too small. As the placenta takes over for mama, we typically regain our energy, and nasty nausea or symptoms seem to fade. We obtain that famous "pregnancy glow," where our skin feels as smooth as glass and our hair as thick as a horse's mane. It's the high peak of positivity before the growing back pain becomes too severe for a solid night's rest.
My grandma told me early on, "Don't restrain yourself. If you did something a lot beforehand, you can do it while pregnant. Stick to your routine." And it's been one of the best pieces of advice I've gotten.
The Good:
I still go to the gym and lift weights.
I ran a 10K.
I go on daily 3-4 mile walks and daily morning yoga.
I consistently bend forward and squat for yard work or nook and cranny detailing, like dusting the baseboards.
I've stayed up late at social events and still go out.
I show up to work every day without complaint.
Solid family time during the holidays; pregnancy during this time of year is a substantial personal recommendation.
The Not-So-Good:
I've had sleepless nights with aching lower back pain.
The non-stop feeling of unwelcome bloating for 4 months straight.
Feeling sad and super left out that I can't participate in particular food or drink rituals during the holidays.
Plugged sinuses.
Bloody noses.
Sky-high anxiety at random times.
Unfortunately, dressing rooms at the nearby mall are not my favorite place if I want to feel confident. Supporting a growing body truly has its ups and downs.
I Have To Be Okay With My Life Changing
Life will never be the same in the best way possible and the scariest form imaginable.
Reyce and I sat with each other, alone, on the quiet evening of Christmas Eve. The honeysuckle candles were lit on the nearby coffee table, the couch was fluffed with our favorite pillows, and our Christmas tree was stuffed with homemade dried oranges as we turned on our nightly Fargo episode. Then suddenly — our first honest-to-God realization was that these last few weeks would be our final together as just the two of us.
I've been with him for over 12 years — through high school dances, college parties, post-school existentialism, several jobs, not-so-fun fights, a wildfire season, three presidents, six countries traveled together from Iceland to the Amazon, road trips, family dinners, heartaches, family deaths, huge wins, and now a baby girl on the way. It's nearly impossible to imagine time split between him and someone else in the house besides our dogs. She'll join our dinners, events, and daily routines for a decade before the teenage years settle in.
Even then, the realization that you'll be a parent for the rest of your life sets in. And everything in your brain starts churning a mile a minute.
We're more than ready, but it's still terrifying. I frantically looked up "how to travel with a newborn in an Uber" and couldn't find a conclusive answer. I thought about the sleepless nights we'll soon be granted and wondered what my morning routine would look like. Then I remembered that my elders had walked this path before me many times, and I suddenly felt less flustered.
He and I stared at each other with tender smiles and kissed each other's molten eyes. We have never felt more grateful for our time together as a couple than now.
It's all about the change, but it's a chapter I've been waiting for.
Beautiful and heartfelt 🧡
To be a woman is one thing. But to be a mother is a whole new level. Congratulations to you and Reyce on taking your first steps towards discovering a new dimension of life.